ticktock

you guys are so lovely and i really dont know what i would do without your support. i havent purged today. i ussually would have purged 3times by now.
thanks for making me see sense. i really do love you.

the timer says 80:29:29 [ticktockticktock]
ive done just under 20hours.

today...at lunch time i was reeeaallyy tempted to eat a sandwich because i was really hungry. [ussually i b/p in the morning so the shock of not eating was overwhelming]
but i didnt. i had a cup of soup instead. i had intended soup not to be part of this fast but, i guess i am a fucking fat greedy shit.
but atleast its liquidy. :P

then on the way home, i was really hungry..[well i wasnt hungry, i just wanted to eat]
so i decided that i would quit. i planned my blogpost in my head, and how i would say 'tomorrow is a new start', i planned exactly what i would eat as soon as i got home.
but then i looked down at my wobbly legs and felt like crying. so i came home and had a cup of tea and now i am in my room, about to fill my head with thinspo.

i need to drop this weight, and i need to gain control. today is the first day ive done a fast in ages and i feel so in control i cant wait for tomorrow!

this morning weight.. 132. i put on a pound due to the massive binge i had last night. but no more purging.

thanks to all of you who made me see sense that purging wasn't really a wise choice despite how much weight i was losing.
you guys really are amazing.
i promise pics once i hit 124lbs. [i cant put any up now because i look like a fat shit who weighs 132lbs]
so if you want to see me in picture form, motivate me to lose the remaining 8lbs. :)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


update: okay i was really worried about missing dinner, but its like my mum didnt even care. i told her my new diet is not eating after 4pm. so it will be embarrassing if i eat tomorrow after 4. and i get home at 4, so if i eat at home, it will be after 4.... so yay me. i seem to have misplaced my phone so i dont kow how many hours i have left now, but watevs. umm, i'm really craving a chocolate sweet right now. i hope i am atleast 1lb lighter tomorrow. :\
night guyssss.xxxx