progress

Sunday, 3 October 2010

:/

well yesterday was a fuckup. i ate up to 450 calories by 4pm and panicked that i wouldnt be able to do 500cals so i binged. i know crazy right? stupid much?
but somehow i lost 2lbs...?

but thats still no excuse, i fucked up.
today i havent eaten anything and its 1:30pm. i'm scared that if i eat anything, i will get ideas and binge.
why am i not normal?

right now, i'm looking at my little sis, eating a sandwich for lunch. for breakfast she had a bowl of cereal. for a snack she might eat a choc bar and then whatever there is for dinner.
why cant i be like that? if i ate a chocolate bar i might as well eat everything else in my kitchen.

so now i am off to get something to eat. although i'm not sure what, i will probably spend like half an hour deciding to eat nothing because i cant handle eating one thing.
maybe i'll eat a carrot. or an apple.

enjoy your day my lovelies. xxx
tea - 60cals
a homemade muffin- (not sure so i'll make it)..150cals
water- 0

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6 comments:

  1. Anonymous3 October 2010 at 07:03

    i allllllways do that. if you think you won't make it or screw up even a bit, you think fuck it and binge like crazy. we've got 2 try and that attitude! dw too much there's always tomorrow xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Starving Artist3 October 2010 at 09:44

    it's so hard to stop eating at one thing T.T I find it easier to not eat a bunch if I make a big deal out of eating one thing. I'll take it up to my room and spend forever making it into a bunch of tiny tiny pieces and if a piece doesn't look right, I'll toss it. Then only eat a few pieces, go do something, come back and eat a few more, ect. Oh and chew for as long as I can. Another thing is to get a cup of rice and only eat one grain at a time, or beans or anything small like that.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Twigs Can Fly3 October 2010 at 12:28

    You listen, and you listen good. ABC is a load of bollocks, which makes you prone to binging.

    So stop that shit now, because you're worth more.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kandie3 October 2010 at 14:00

    I do that all the time too. I figure if I'm going to go over by a little I might as well just eat fucking everything because I've fucked up so bad I'm not worth trying to contain myself. Which is why I would be horrid on the ABC diet.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sarah4 October 2010 at 05:10

    That happens to me as well! It sucks so bad.
    You better be looking after yourself, babe. :)
    <3

    ReplyDelete
  6. robyngabrielle4 October 2010 at 05:16

    I agree with Twigs, ABC is just too hard to maintain and we all know that people like us tend to go off the rails if we feel we have 'failed'. Give yourself a break hun, purging isn't good :(

    Soup, raw veggies, fruit - all great low/zero cal foods you can have. Stay strong xx

    ReplyDelete

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