ugh!fuck!shit!...

day 9 went well. very very well, infact i managed to eat very little.
however, today was a different story. i went to my aunts and she made food, with lots of meat. it was impossible not to eat, and she is so lovely, i couldnt say no. [i couldnt..or didnt want to :( ]
a part of me thinks i was just being nice,
but a huge part of me is fuckiign pissed off. like wtf? she didnt force the food down my throat, i could have said i wasnt feeling well, is her happiness more inportant than mine?

:[ hmph! i hate myself, but i refuse to let this get me down. i will not go on a whole week's binge like i ussually do, no way.
i am getting back up.
tomorrow, i am re-doing day 10. and i will do 40 days.
i'm not allowed any more fuckups!

i hope you are all doing well and getting skinny :) xxxxxxxx