i had breakfast... 130cals?
and haven't been able to eat anything else,
just the thought of putting anyhthing in my mouth actually makes me sick!
and the fact that i will have to purge sfterwards makes me sickkerrr. i agree with what scarlet said, purging really puts you off food.
i am hungry..but i like the feeling.
i woke up 0.4 lbs lighter today. i am 138.6lbs
i'm not happy. i'm such a fat shit, how did i let myself get to this point?
i was trying on some of my old jeans today, none of them fit.
16lbs later, and they still dont fucking fit me.
why am i so fat.i want to be thin.i want to be perfect. will i ever be perfect, or am i kidding myself, i actually feel like crying, i hate myself so much.
I know the feeling babe, I have these cords that I wanted to wear but was too fat to fit in at 270. And 242. And still they don't quite fit at 220 (or less, can't wait to weigh in on tuesday!!). It's sooo very irritating. But just know that one day you'll just pick them up because you forgot about them, and then you put them on and suddenly realize that you used to not be able to fit them. That is an amazing feeling. I recently had that with a pair of dkny jeans. *fun* :)
ReplyDeleteDon't purge everything babe, it works but it's not good for you (gah, I am the pot calling the kettle black, don't ask, just read my new post). Okay love, keep up the good work. And remember, any loss is great :)
Love you,
Scarlet <3
awwh im sorry i know that feeling all to well! I'm sorry i know it this dsnt help tons but just think it dsnt matter how long it takes as long as you never give up...that quote seems dumb now but im sorry i really am trying to make you feel better! currently your a thinspiration to me! lol and watching thinspo videos on youtube always perks me up!
ReplyDeletestAy stroNg! thiN(k) thiN!
xoxo Lyndee
Aw, i'm sorry you feel that way, sweetie. But i have faith in you, and i believe that someday you WILL be perfect. We all will. We'll reach our goals and be thin and beautiful and have jeans that fit. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteAhh crap. I remeber when I first started blogging. I was growing out of my size 12 jeans. I was moving on to the 14-16 area that really proves to the world your obbesse. You were the first person to follow my blog. So any ways you used to be around the same weight as me. Acctually I started at 166lbs so you've always been a lot less than me. But any ways I remember those jeans. I remember when I got back to size 12 and tried to fit in my size 10's, and now i'm in my 10's and I want so badly to fit into 4's. 4's? Can you immagine a girl who was one 166lbs is now 146 because she has the most inspiring People ever who talk to her and tell her stories? Thats me. 20lbs later. 20? 20. :) Mmmmm..... feels so good. But not good enough. When I lose 26 more lbs I'll be around size 6 and When I lose 13 more I'll be size 4. SIze 4. God I want it sooooo sooo bad. Stay strong. And thank you.
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