...on to a not so crappy day.
i stayed at 400 cals today. i feel proud, but not nearly proud enough
the number on the scale is a mystery to me. i haven't weighed in about a week. i'm scared. sometimes, the number goes up. too often infact it likes to go up.when i see i am fatter than i was the last time, there is this feeling inside me that i don't like.
then i'm afraid. then i'm hungry..very hungry. and i eat..a lot! i binge, because i feel i should give up and not care. then i wake up the next day and cry.
but sometimes it goes down. not so often. very rarely does it go down.
then i become a little happy. so i treat myself to something sweet. "i deserve this" i tell myself. and i eat my little treats which don't end.. but then they do, and by then its too late. then number has gone up.
its not fair.
i will weigh on saturday
i really do hope it goes down.
i am awake at 2:20am. i really should be asleep but i was up doing some homework. i am going to do a few situps and leglifts and then go to sleep. i'm only going to get 4 hours of sleep. yaay :(
but the longer i'm up, the more energy i'm using, as long as i don't overeat.
hello sexy new followers :)
hello sexy regular followers
i love knowing that people are actually taking time to read my blog. about my crappy days and crAppy life.
.wow.thanks
hello sexy new (to me) blogger :)
ReplyDeletei binged last night and was up 2 pounds this morning, so i binged again because i was so depressed. how does THAT make sense?
400 calories! girl i'm jealous. and i'm proud of you, even if you aren't.
keep it up skinny minny
<3
Yep, this is how I enter slumps. Binge, gain, binge gain. Grip weight slips down, panic, rejoice, to much? Binge, gain, bunge, gain. Slip. Hello sexy jen, BTW we missed you and are not stoping reading. Hope you grab your grip and stop the slipery binges.
ReplyDeleteI am weighing next week. If I see it go up at all I know ill go into a binge so Im going to excercise hardcore for a week and see if it goes down at all. If it does then ill be super happy. I just need that high right now. Itll keep me going.
ReplyDeleteI know what do you feel, I'm scared of weighing myself too, even tho I don't binge but still.
ReplyDeleteI know it will go down =)Stay strong ^^
Hello sexy blogger, lol.
ReplyDeleteWeighing in after a while is scary but I think you've been doing well. I am sure your weight has gone down! Good work with the cals, but make sure you get some sleep love!
XOXO,
Scarlet<3
Do you weigh everyday? I know that if I weigh everyday I usually have less control and get depressed. Everyone works differently, but I know weighing less helps me stay in conrtol.
ReplyDeleteI hope you can relax soon! Don't cry :( You are beautiful