i am a failure. i was doing so well. but i guess i'm not strong enough.
on friday i decided to eat breakfast and lunch and dinner. i felt terrible, i hated the feeling of a full stomach, yet i loved the eating part. friday morning, i was 129lbs. then my inner bulimic decided to emerge. i ate endlessly [without purging] and woke up 130 lbs. i had put on a pound in one day. i freaked OUT! so i binged all day saturday and sunday [again without purging] and woke up 132lbs.
yes it would be right to think..'shes a fatty'
so tomorrow i am fasting then starting my low cal intake again on wednesday. fuck it, i dont care if you're meant to eat to lose. i'm done with eating.
i just know, if i can push myself not to binge after a week of dieting, then i can be successful.
i want to be 125lbs in 2 weeks. {hmm..didnt i say that 2 weeks ago?] ... life sucks!
i will be back and blogging regularly tomorrow my loves, can't wait to catch up on all your blogs :)
i have those weekends all the time. and you're right - it's so hard to control yourself after you come out of a period of fasting/restricting. but we'll get better at it...practice makes perfect!
ReplyDeletestay strong x
Your body with naturally fluctuate 1-5 pounds everyday, don't fret too much darling :)
ReplyDeleteWill* not with
ReplyDeletehey love, me, not quite ana and morbid diathesis are fasting right now too - we're in it together xxx
ReplyDeleteYou can definitely reach 125 in two weeks, I have faith. Weekend binges are the worst:/ I hope you had luck with the fast and are doing well. XOXO
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