i hate everyone and everything.
i am this worthless piece of shit.
i'm tired of feeling like this,
i hate myself.
i hate how you are all living happy lives
i'm afraid to be jealous, so jealous i start to hate you all like i hate my friends, like i hate everyone else.
i've been praying hard. beause i feel i'm losing control, i'm eating twice as much, and as a result hating myself more. i wish i could just die! but i cant, i'm far too scared
i dont know what to do,
i'm fucking hot. i cant wear summer clothes because of my cuts all over my legs and arms. i have started cutting again
my legs sting.
but i cant stop. and when i cant stop, i eat.
i tried to smile today, but i just left school early and went home to eat, eat my feelings away.
all my friends are happy, they are enjoying the weather, they are pretty and blonde and rich.
progress
We all get like that hun. Just stay strong
ReplyDeletex
Hey jenny, it's okay. It's like a cycle see? And things are worse at the moment because you're breaking out of it.
ReplyDeleteIt'll get better one day - live for that day.
<3
Oh babe I get how you feel, but there's a light at the end of the tunnel, you aren't gonna be stuck here. You sound so depressed it makes me sad because I know how awesome you are when you're happy. You gotta stop cutting though. I know it's hard but maybe a rubberband or something like that to replace the knife would be much better. Please don't hate us, our lives are not all happy and perfect. Everybody has a rough patch and it seems like everyone else is doing the things you can't. I feel that way all the time, I envy and covet simultaneously. Praying is good, keep that up. I hope everything clears up for you babe, tomorrow will be a brighter day.
ReplyDeleteXOXOXO and *hugs*,
Scarlet<3
Aww, hunny. You're beautiful too, whether you believe it or not... but i know exactly how you're feeling. I've been exactly where you are... Hang on, love. It has to get better for you soon.
ReplyDeleteYou don't feel good because you are starving. The two states are mutually exclusive.I have information that will help. Former ana/mia survivor, come to my new blog about adding in what you need and talk to me. Comment, ask questions, offer topics to discuss. Its why I'm here.
ReplyDelete